Keeping It Real

The YourMomCares blog for keeping it real in the mental health movement by sharing stories and experiences.

My Routine

July 30 2020

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” - John C. Maxwell

As someone living with bipolar disorder and anxiety, routine and structure have made all the difference to me in my recovery. Along with routine comes a sense of freedom. This is the key to my success in recovery. 

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is necessary. 
My mornings have always been sacred to me. I am a morning person. I always had a morning routine, so when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and after seeking help in many different ways (both clinically and spiritually), I decided to create a new routine that felt best for me and my illness. First and foremost, I make sure to wake up super early to have “me time”. I learned you can’t give what you don’t have. 

While hospitalized in 2017 (my last hospitalization) at age 23, I realized that when I woke up early and set myself up for the day, I had a better chance of being able to do the activities and attend the groups they had for patients in the inpatient unit. I was inpatient for about 14 days. I then carried this mindset over throughout the 28-day program which I went to immediately after my inpatient experience. 

I woke up at 6 AM every morning and I made sure to be the first one in the house who was awake to have peace and quiet outside on the terrace. From what I can remember there were about 10 of us living in the house at the time. I would read and journal all before everyone in the house woke up. I knew I needed serenity and alone time. I created my own formula for success on my own while I was away, so that when I came home I would have a foundation for what to do. 

Sometimes we don’t like to believe it, but we have more control over our lives than we think.
I can’t control that I have Bipolar Disorder, however I can control what I do with it, how I treat it, and how I manage it. That is all in my hands. Having a routine makes me feel in control, when my illness often makes me feel out of control. 

For me, along with routine comes a boost in self-confidence / freedom.
Self-confidence was something I struggled with when I got diagnosed, however I have realized to a large extent that my confidence and freedom come from keeping promises to myself through the day that are incorporated in my routine. I like to keep my reactions and intentions pure. We can’t control a lot of what happens in the day, we can control our reactions and our intentions. 

Joy and feeling good go hand in hand… 
…and are also directly related to my routine. Here is what I do every single day which has helped me remain stable and feel good in recovery for three years:
1. I wake up in the morning and pray: Prayer keeps me connected to spirit and brings me serenity, peace, and comfort. 
2.  Mindfully make my coffee.
3.  Read a self-help / spiritual book while drinking my coffee.
4. Create a gratitude list of at least 15 things I am grateful for. 
5. Journal (anything and everything): Journaling helps me get my emotions and feelings down on the page. There is something extremely therapeutic about writing your own thoughts out.
6. Exercise - movement for at least 45 minutes: Exercise helps me release anger and anxiety. I often have a lot of pent up energy that needs to be released.
I have learned over the years to become flexible and add on a few other coping mechanisms when needed. However, prayer, reading, journaling, and exercising are non-negotiables.

My routine is everything to me and it even excites me. 
I look forward to waking up in the morning and having something to do. Granted, on days I am depressed I lose all motivation, but I give myself grace and have learned to accept the fact that some days if all I can do is wake up and hop in the shower, that is ok (and sometimes even that is too much for me). 

I make feeling good my priority and therefore I take what I like to do and use it as a vehicle of a way for me to express myself and honor my feelings.
I have made this aspect of my life joyful rather than boring and ordinary. 

Routine brings me self-confidence, freedom, and joy. I highly recommend thinking about what you like to do and begin to incorporate it into your daily life. 

XOXO, your Dose of Danielle.

My Story

July 8 2020

My name is Danielle Nemetsky. I am 26 years old and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was 20. I have been hospitalized three times and therefore was in and out of college for all of my early twenties. At the time, this was mortifying and embarrassing. I was totally ashamed.  By sharing my story, I hope to reduce this feeling of embarrassment for others. It is not our fault, and it is not in our control when we are diagnosed with a mental health disorder. 

Through the ages of 20 – 26 I have been on a roller coaster ride to say the least. I started having anxiety when I was a senior in high school. Then I ended up at my dream school, which was Syracuse University. I thought everything would be perfect...little did I know, my world was about to turn upside down. At age 20, in my junior year at Syracuse, I had my first psychotic break. I was extremely manic. Mania for me is delusional thinking and paranoia. For example, I thought people were trying to kill me and that I was in the CIA. Fortunately, my parents and friends were present and aware of my bizarre behavior and they worked together to make sure I went home. When I got home, I was immediately admitted to the mental hospital closest to my hometown in Long Island, NY. 

After my first hospitalization, I was in and out of inpatient units before I finally got back on my two feet. In between these hospitalizations, I kept going back to college here on Long Island part time. I needed to take baby steps and not jump right back into “normal” life too quickly. Unfortunately, school and the work that went along with being a student became a major trigger for me and became a new manifestation of anxiety.

I think it’s important to note that just because I have Bipolar Disorder, does not mean my anxiety (that I experienced in high school) went away. In fact, during this time, my anxiety was worse than ever because I had anxiety that I had Bipolar Disorder. I was also on and off many different medications to find the right one for me (I’ll share more about my medication in a future post). Many had awful side effects, so I was constantly tweaking them with my doctors and this did not help my progress in school. 

 My last hospitalization was in 2017 in Connecticut. I was 23 years old and I was in the inpatient unit for 2 weeks. My parents and I then decided it would benefit me to stay there at their hospital which offered 28 day programs. This lifestyle of in and out of the hospital had to come to an end. The program I chose to do changed my life. It was a DBT program (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It made me aware of my illness and taught me how to manage it properly. From this year on, my recovery journey took a turn for the better. Finally I began to feel at ease and know I could take control of my illness. 

 These three years were filled with hopelessness, confusion, anger, denial, and frustration. I felt robbed of my youth. Despite all these feelings though, I always knew within me that Bipolar Disorder would not get the best of me. I always joke that I want to be the next Oprah Winfrey, so I decided I could use my mess as my message to get through to the world. Not only will it not get the best of me, but I decided it would make me be better, not bitter.

I am here to share that if you seek help, if you come to terms with the fact that you have a mental health disorder, and if you never give up, like I did- you can come out on the other side. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You do not have to become a victim to your circumstance. Granted life is full of ups and downs and highs and lows.  I never know what tomorrow will bring, but when you commit to recovery and want to be healthy, no matter how many years or hospitalizations it takes, you too can achieve stability and experience that light.

Today, as a young woman who lives with mental illness (anxiety and bipolar disorder), I see a huge gap between real life and the media in regards to young adults, mental health, and what it is like to live with a Bipolar diagnosis on a day to day basis. Mental health needs more positive exposure and to be normalized. 

As a certified Peer Specialist and now as the YourMomCares Mental Health Peer Specialist, I aspire to help people learn how to be the best versions of themselves while living with their mental health conditions. I want to motivate, and give hope to others who are on their recovery journey. Using this platform, I will share how I experience strength, peace, and freedom in my own life and offer others tools to do the same. Every mental health journey is different and what has worked for me may not work for you, but it is important to make people aware of lifestyle adjustments and changes that can be helpful as we learn to live in harmony with our mental health obstacles. Recovery is possible. Life can still be beautiful; especially when we open up the conversation around this topic and share our stories with one another.  

I will use this space to share what works for me when I am up and when I am down. My intention is to bring realness around what it is like to suffer and battle with our minds and how I have come out on the other side. None of this is easy, but if we put in the work, it is worth it. 

I once read that fear has two meanings: face everything and run or face everything and rise. I choose to face everything and rise. My hope is to help others rise up with me. I look forward to using this space to express myself and use it as a platform to reach others who are going on a similar mental health journey. Join me. 

XOXO, your Dose of Danielle.

*This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. In the event of a true emergency, contact 911. Otherwise, please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition.